Friday, February 8, 2013

It's amazing what a year will do...


This past year has changed me in more ways than I will ever be able to understand or ever really be able to vocalize.  Maddie Grace has expanded my heart in ways I didn’t know possible.  Goodness gracious, sweet babies come to this earth and bring so much love with them.  She has strengthened my relationship with Adam in ways I didn’t know it could be strengthened.  Watching him be a father has been amazing.  She has opened doors in my heart that I didn’t know needed opening.  Most importantly, she has taught me how truly valuable every single human life is and she has made me question what is truly important in life. 



I’m about to tell a story, one that makes me ashamed.  But it’s probably one of the best examples of what I mean by the above statement.  Several years ago, before I was pregnant, I saw a man with his daughter at Chick- Fil-a.  It was a typical Saturday afternoon – the place was packed.  I had been out shopping and running errands with Adam and we stopped in for a quick lunch.  There, in line a few people in front of me, was a little girl and her father.  If I had to guess the girl was probably 6 years old.  She was holding her father’s hand and generally being a pain in the butt.  She was twirling around, shaking his hand, asking for a cookie, and jumping up and down.  She had Down syndrome.  I remember looking over and thinking: gosh, I bet he hates his life.  Literally, in the time it took for me to glance over those awful things popped in my head.  I went about my day but obviously, this moment in time stayed with me, considering I remember it now.  Looking back on that moment the thing that stands out the most to me now is that I was able to witness such a typical moment of a father with his daughter.   She was doing all of the things most 6 year olds do.  She was annoying the snot out of her father in a crowded restaurant.  In my ignorance, I thought that having a child I perceived as being so “different” made that loving parent have a terrible or undesirable life.  How very stupid and naive I was.  The only reason that nasty thought popped into my mind was because that little girl had a chromosomal abnormality that she could neither change nor help. I wish I could go back to that moment and see that child, her father, and their life differently.  I’m glad that I’ve been given the opportunity to love someone with Down syndrome who has totally changed my perspective on life. 



Growth is hard.  Growing as a person, expanding your heart, learning more about God and His love has defined the last year for me.  The past year has made me question who I am as a person and who I want to be.  I know one thing for certain, I've grown more over the past year than I did in the last 28 years.  And I owe it all to one tiny soul and her sweet smile.  




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