Hopes and Fears

I think every new mother has hopes and fears for their brand new baby. I think the fears for a new mother of a child with special needs can be overwhelming. I have certainly struggled to not allow my fears to overwhelm me to the point that I can't enjoy every second with Maddie Grace. 

I was thinking about this topic the other day.  I was thinking about my fears and how some of them may not be that different from the fears every mother faces with a brand new life. Sure, I worry about Maddie Grace's heart (which luckily we've avoided the major heart defects, she only has one small hole that they are monitoring every six months with the hope that it will close on its on). I worry about her cognitive ability, and speech.  And those are worries that I'm sure mothers of typically developing children don't really think about.   But I also worry that she won't have friends, that she won't get asked to the prom, that somewhere down the road she will have her heart broken.  Not necessarily by a boy, but by life in general. But isn't that true for every new life, there's the chance that she won't be miss popularity, that she won't be asked to the prom.  After all, I wasn't asked to the prom myself and I turned out ok.  I hope I instill in her the confidence to go anyway, that's what I did.  And if we are all being honest life has broken our heart a time or two. That's apart of the human experience - that our hearts will break.  That sometimes life isn't fair and that sometimes life just plain hurts.  As a mother that's going to be hard for me, as I assume it's hard for any mother.  No one wants to see their children hurt, but I'm sure every mother will have to endure that.   I just hope that in those moments I have the strength and wisdom to be the best mother I can be to Maddie Grace, that I give her the comfort and love she needs to keep on trucking. 

When I stop and think about my hopes, my biggest hope for Maddie Grace is that she will be happy. That she will have an amazing childhood full of laughter, friends, popsicles on the front porch, bike rides around the neighborhood, swinging in the park, trips to the zoo, birthday parties, and the reality is that Maddie Grace will get to experience all of those things. Adam and I plan to make sure she will have all of those things.  I want her to embrace life and suck all of the joy out of everyday. I guess that's a pretty common hope for all mothers, the hope that their child will find something that makes them truly happy - that they will experience true joy in this life. I read this statistic the other day, that 97% of adults with Down syndrome were happy with their lives. I'm not sure you would get that same number if you polled most adults. I will take 97% any day. And I will do everything in my power to make sure Maddie Grace falls in that 97%. 

And just because I think blog posts are better with pictures (and because she's just so adorable!):