Please love my child...

After Maddie Grace was born, she spent about 15 minutes in the OR with me and Adam, but was then taken to the newborn nursery to get cleaned up and checked out. Adam was able to go with her, and got to introduce her to her "entourage".  She had so many people waiting for her arrival they ran out of chairs in the waiting room!  They finished stitching me up and I was taken to a recovery room, and there I stayed alone, for probably 30 minutes.   To be completed honest, I was full of fear. (In Adam's defense he wasn't told I was out of surgery so that's partly why I was alone for so long). I've mentioned before that both Adam and I knew that Maddie Grace had Down syndrome in the OR. We saw the features in her little face. So I sat I'm the recovery room full of worries and fears. I knew she was initially healthy and came into the world screaming so that wasn't where my fears were coming from. My most immediate and overwhelming fear was that no one was going to love her. As irrational as that sounds, I was consumed with the fear that no one would love my little girl.

She and I had been through a lot together,  we endured a complicated pregnancy together and I was madly in love with her. But I couldn't shake the all consuming fear was no one else would feel that love for her.  I even worried that Adam wouldn't love her.  Clearly, he is more than in love with his little girl:

Shortly before my mom came back to check on me in the recovery room a nurse stopped by and said that there were at least 30 people standing outside the newborn nursery windows admiring our little girl. They even broke the rules and allowed everyone to go back and see her in pairs of two.  At that moment my fears slowly started to subside, but it was a slow process.  I was worried that Maddie Grace wouldn't live up to the child our family and friends had imagined, and I worried that they would be sad.  Once we had her official diagnosis, Adam and I began the process of telling our friends and coworkers and I felt that fear again. What if no one loved her? Spoiler alert-everyone is quite smitten with our precious baby.  The outpouring of love has been amazing and very inspiring.

So here's my advice for anyone who has a friend or family member who has given birth to, or is about to give birth to a child with any diagnosis: All a new mother wants is for you to love her child.  Accept her for what she is, a beautiful gift.  Tell your friend, coworker, or family member how exceptionally wonderful her baby is.  I promise that will mean the world to her and ease her fears.